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30 April 2010 @ 09:42 pm
03 suffocate  
for some reason, i've been inspired mostly by songs recently O: i love Doojoon's version of Suffocate; he got me so addicted to it lol

suffocate

doojoon/yoseob; pg, fluff/romance
you took my breath away but replaced it with something so much more.
a/n. written in Doojoon's POV. i apologize in advance for the cheesiness and the fail ending haha >.>; comments?


I can't breathe when you talk to me
I can't breathe when you're touching me
I suffocate when you're away from me
So much love you take from me
I'm going out of my mind

-- suffocate, j. holiday

i.
the first time i heard you sing during our training days, i was blown away. every note that came out of your mouth stole my breath away. i had never heard anything so beautiful and so sweet yet shy in my life.
so i happened to glance at your face as you were singing. your expression was almost angelic, peaceful and calm, but strong and emotional when the song moved into crescendos.

when the song ended and you opened your eyes again, our eyes locked and it was like everything just faded away. that only lasted a few seconds but at that moment, i knew i was attracted to you.

ii.
it only got better (or worse, depending on how you saw it) when we were assigned to debut in the same band. it meant more time that we could spend together. but i was nervous around you and i worried about how i would act near you. either way, i was happy to see you.
we knew each other by first names now and hung out once or twice together in a group with other trainees. so you came up to me expressing your joy for our debut; you were glad that there was somebody you knew in the band.

you smiled at me and clasped my hands tightly with your own. your eyes crinkled when you smiled (i thought you looked so cute at that time). happiness was seemingly radiating away from you, glowingly bright and warm.
i couldn't utter a word, just my mouth opening and closing. it was that dazzling. and as much as it made me look like an idiot, i secretly wished to see more of your smiles.

iii.
after debut, there were more and more activities we had to participate in. i supposed this was a good thing for our band but there were times when i longed for just the two of us hanging out together.
especially when i had to leave the country for the tv show, i missed you the most. the physical distance between us did not compare with the hole that i felt within me, like an emptiness that just won't go away.

so when i came back and you embraced me in a tight hug, my breath was knocked out of me. for one, i couldn't breathe because your hug was almost bone-crushing. but the main reason was that i lost all thoughts and functions when i saw you again.

iv.
i woke up early this morning for some unknown reason; maybe it's because i just couldn't sleep. i quietly shuffled down the side of the bunk bed and landed as softly as i could on the floor to not wake them up. rubbing my eyes tiredly, i walked to the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools. i placed my head down, with one of my cheeks touching the cold granite table, and closed my eyes attempting to sleep again.

"can't sleep?" you asked, coming to sit next to me. and i opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of your face; a part of me wondering why you were awake as well. too lazy to form actual words, i just grunted in response.

it was still and quiet in the kitchen; neither of us made a sound. then your hand came up and brushed the side of my face softly. you repeated the action, but this time you soothingly brushed my hair with your fingers treading sightly in them, like a mother would to her child. it comforted me and my eyes slowly closed with each caress.

suddenly right before i drifted off to the dream world, i felt a soft kiss placed on my forehead. it was so light that i thought i imagined it. but i opened my eyes just in time to catch you pulling away. i held your wrist in a tight grasp, not letting you go any furthur. not when i think about you all day long. not when you are the cause of my insomnia. not when you possibly could feel the same as i did. no, i won't let you go.

you turned away from me, probably embarrassed by being caught in your actions. but i tilted your face towards me, with my hand now against your cheek. i looked into your eyes as an attempt to convey my feelings through them. your eyes were a dark black-brown and the more i looked into them, the deeper i fell (in love). all thoughts vanished from my mind and even though i wasn't aware of what i was doing, i knew.

i caressed your cheek and leaned in towards you, tilting my head to the side slightly. our lips met in a gentle, but passionate way. there were no bursts of bright colours or fireworks or any exaggerated things like that, but rather it was quiet, dreamy, and just a perfect fit. it was innocent just like our feelings for each other were.

we pulled apart from each other reluctantly, but you smiled at me (that warm, bright and blinding smile) and took my hand. "c'mon, let's get back to bed now. hmm?" pulling me along, you dragged me back to the room and climbed the few steps to the top beds. i followed behind you and lied down on my side, facing you.

i grabbed your hand once again. comfort washed over me. i was able to finally close my eyes and sleep. and so we fell asleep like that, holding each other's hand, even if it was just for those two-three hours before schedules began again. just knowing put me at rest.

v.
you took my breath away, but replaced it with something so much more.
(what would i do without your love)


--end.
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: 愛しているから - 亀梨和也
 
 
 
ohmygod_sun: dooseobloveohmygod_sun on May 1st, 2010 07:08 am (UTC)
beautiful.
fluffy things filled me right now--i'm smiling without any reason :)
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:46 pm (UTC)
thank you! ^^
4D Gikwang: Dooseobkigae on May 1st, 2010 07:24 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD
And with this insanely sweet fluff you made my day!
:')
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:47 pm (UTC)
aww, thanks for reading~ /sorry for the late reply ^^;
(Deleted comment)
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:47 pm (UTC)
that's okay~ haha, thanks! ^^
what happened to always and forever?sandx on May 1st, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
awwwwwwwwwww that was filled with sooo much fluff i'm just smiling like an idoit. ^^
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:48 pm (UTC)
hehe, i'm glad you liked it ^^
make happiness a habit ♥: DooSeob: you're beside me (but...)yunsias on May 2nd, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
SDGAHJDGAKJUFGKQWJHRGKGWGFJDSFHGSDGHJ

WHY DO YOU DO SUCH THINGS TO MY HEART.
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:50 pm (UTC)
i told you cheese was no good for me ;__;

lol i'm glad you liked it :D
make happiness a habit ♥yunsias on May 6th, 2010 09:34 am (UTC)
i'll take your cheese ANY DAY
kidotrakidotra on May 2nd, 2010 05:55 pm (UTC)
I went from 'Awwwwww' to 'How cute' and so many more but simply at 'Beautiful'.
Good one, you made me smile. =) ♥
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading ^^
shiann: B2ST - DooSeobsnb123 on May 5th, 2010 07:05 am (UTC)
oh gosh! i just loved it! especially the last sentance!
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 5th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^^

(btw, your icon looks amazing (: )
용준형彡: b2st ♥ junhyungyongjunhyung on May 9th, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
i'm so happy i came across this fic.
this was insanely beautiful, gah you don't even know. ♥

i just scrolled up to read the top bit.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT; THE ENDING MADE MY HEART BURST INTO MINI CHILD-LIKE FLAILY-FANGIRLY JOY.
용준형彡yongjunhyung on May 9th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
I'M MEMMING THIS, JSYK.
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 9th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
>///< thank you, i'm glad you liked it :D!
ladytaechun: DooSeobloveisdesire on May 12th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC)
I absolutely love this. It was just so beautiful and had this quiet, lovely feel to it <3
puff & the paper;: beast / dooseob don't leavekt_luvu26 on May 15th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting! ^^